Review: Talking Tables | Escape Room

RATING: 0 Keys RESULT: Win (?) REMAINING: *11:14

If Japan is the land of calm tranquility, why did this home game so quickly escalate to the purest form of blind rage?

Story

Embark on an unforgettable adventure with friends without leaving the comfort of your sofa with this Mini Escape Room – Kyoto Edition. You and your fellow players will be transported to an exclusive movie premiere in the heart of Kyoto. However, things take a deadly turn when a dark force awakens from the cursed ground. Will you be able to solve the puzzles and escape before time runs out?

The (Talking) Tables are set with an elaborate backstory, beginning in the film studio Okoto Hikari for the premier of their debut feature, Shutsubotsu. The studio itself is built on grounds once sacred to the yokai, and as attending film buffs are about to learn (by watching a terribly low-budget QR code-provided video) one of those demons is giving them just sixty minutes to find three passwords or be cursed, because escape game.

If any of this this seems difficult to follow (or pronounce without an understanding of the Japanese language), don’t worry! It never comes up again. Like – once the game begins there is literally no connection to stopping the demons, and they’re entirely forgotten. Perhaps that’s also how Hana, the film’s established protagonist (who at no further point plays any part in this game) also defeated the yokai in the movie? Or perhaps the film crew just ran out of money before it ended.

Scenic

When discussing a home game, we define “Scenic,” from a graphic design perspective, as well as the quality, weight and feel of print materials inside the box. In terms of strictly packaging, Escape Room – Kyoto Edition will accomplish its task of drawing in anyone with a love of Japanese culture. The box is covered in stylized art that instantly evokes a sense of visiting the Land of the Rising Sun.

Inside the box, this game’s components are comprised of a small assortment of various paper types. Styles range from glossy pages featuring colorful and cartoon-ish images of recognizable Japanese cultural institutions (like sushi or origami characters) while others are cardstock, or even a bit more like rice paper.

Three envelopes separate various Japanese themes across the realms of creation, observation and exploration. While some of this does have a loose affiliation to what’s stored inside, not nearly enough cohesive effort is put into connecting those dots. In the broader picture, it’s just three envelopes full of random stuff to defeat a demon who’s already been forgotten.

Puzzles

Talking Tables manages to jam a collection of the least popular types of escape game tasks all into a single small package. Mundane and cliché activities such as sudoku and paper mazes might as well be pulled straight from a puzzle book picked up at as an impulse buy at the CVS check out counter.

And then there’s the math. It’s no secret that math in games tends to draw a fiercely negative reaction. Escape Room – Kyoto Edition takes this equation to the extreme. Addition, subtraction, percentages – and somehow this high school math test is paraded out dressed as a puzzle. To better illustrate, here is just a small excerpt (with actual values are replaced by “#” in parenthesis so as to avoid spoilers) from the solutions booklet:

(#) x (item1) at (#)¥ each:
(#)¥ x (#) = (#)¥

Apply the special offer of (#) for price of (#):
(#)¥ – (#)¥ = (#)¥

then apply the (#)% off discount:
(#)¥ – (#)% = (#)¥

And here’s the thing: That’s just one paragraph of *five* back to back blocks of instructions for a single math equation “puzzle.” And then, there’s still the need to nonsensically convert those numbers into letters (somehow?) to get the password.

Speaking of passwords, each envelope’s “realm” is intended to lead travelers to exactly that. Most of those passwords are a stretch at best, and more commonly just flat out head-scratchingly nonsensical. Simply put, the only reliable way to find those passwords is by referencing the mercifully provided solutions booklet. (Be sure to budget extra time in between each envelope to swear loudly about how there’s zero logical connection to be found.)

Best of all (?), there is no way to verify if password is correct. Let that sink in for a moment; in a game whose clearly stated goal is deducing specific passwords, once each is attained, would-be math teachers visiting Japan do absolutely nothing with them. There’s no where to enter said password; all that can be done is simply… assume… that it’s correct and… decide… it’s time to open the next envelope.

Even more awkward, Escape Room – Kyoto Edition ends exactly the same way. Not only is there nothing to enter the finale password into in hopes of verification – it’s not even particularly clear that the game has ended. (Unless, of course, remorseful travelers measure it against how much patience they have left, at which point it was probably finished somewhere in the first envelope.)

Overall

It’s difficult to not immediately fall in love with Japan and it’s rich culture. For that reason alone, a lot of reminding that this is not a product of the country is necessary to avoid bringing dishonor upon such a special place.

Talking Tables offers a multitude of different themed at home escape games, but it’s because of our love of all things Japan that instantly drew us to this one as our first experience. It’s difficult to tell if we simply made the wrong choice, or if all of their Escape Room Editions are equally as infuriating. One thing’s for sure – we’re politely bowing out of ever trying another.

Sayōnara.