Review: Team Escape Rooms

RATING: 5 Keys RESULT: Win REMAINING: 1:36

The steaks stakes are as high as a herd on a spaceship… the number of cow-related puns is even higher! 

Story

Abducted! On another planet! AND you don’t even have a towel! This is udderly disastrous!! Can you figure out how to escape the evil clutches of your Cow Captors? Or are you going to be on tonight’s menu?! 

The premise is absurd by design. From the outset, it is clear that  human captives are going to be subjected to a litany of goofy puns, cultural references, and downright stupid (in the best possible way) humor. Their captor (who is absolutely a real cow and definitely not an actor in a cow costume) appears on the screen and lays out the situation: earthlings are on a spaceship fifty million miles from home and slated to become the main course at the Cosmic Cows’ upcoming feast. Dinnertime is coming quickly, so would-be entrées only have 75 minutes to get the spaceship operational and escape before the herd starts deciding which BBQ sauce pairs best with humanity.

There is a contagious energy to the storyworld’s wonderfully committed nonsense. It’s never fully clear how the herd would have access to earth’s cultural references, but that hardly matters when the soundtrack starts encouraging singing and dancing (did someone say “more cowbell?”) while the human livestock are subjected to even more corny jokes and puns. 

Scenic

Even before entering the game, the scale of the experience is evident. A large, in-universe mural sprawls across the wall surrounding the door. Beyond the entrance sits an udderly (DO YOU GET IT?) enormous spaceship, initially visible only from the confines of a corral that blocks access to the rest of the space. Monitors displaying a mish-mash of space-information line the perimeter of the room, creating stations where captives can spread out as they race to avoid becoming human hamburgers. 

Eventually, the spaceship opens into the fairgrounds where the Space Cows will be enjoying their feast. Unlike the cold steel of the spaceship, potential dinner guests find a warm, outdoorsy vibe complete with carnival games, refreshments, and a grassy meadow. The whiplash created by this dramatic shift between the two environments is startling, but quickly settles into the realization that the herd isn’t so different from humanity after all; they’re just looking to have a good time at their celebration! The difference is that instead of looking for funnel cakes or ice cream, they’re looking to indulge in grilled earthlings. 

Cowprint dots every wall and surface, while the bovine-inspired soundscape reacts enthusiastically whenever the captives make progress toward their escape. Have we mentioned the puns yet? Because the herd certainly loves to milk their puns for all they’re worth! Cow-munications? Cow-lendar? Moo-thane gas? Another cow-themed groaner lurks around every corner. 

Puzzles

While on the spaceship, challenges organically feel more tech-powered, requiring interaction with the large, glowing monitors to acquire information, leading to codes that can be entered on keypads. Once the world opens into the fairgrounds, the action shifts toward more tactile tasks as free-range humans manipulate carnival attractions, physical objects, and mechanical locks scattered around the Space Cows’ festive feasting grounds. The storyworld is consistent: advanced tech aboard the ship, simpler machinery (for example, a sound board in a DJ booth) throughout the fairgrounds. The puzzle solutions embrace the dad-joke humor layered into every interaction (have we mentioned yet that puns play a heavy role in this game?) One particular puzzle involving milk cartons features a very entertaining Easter Egg (which also functions as a souvenir!) 

Gameplay is largely asynchronous and non-linear, allowing large dinner parties to work on different puzzles simultaneously. As previously noted, the spaceship and fairgrounds are expansive – and every bit of it is put to good use by spreading out the puzzles to prevent crowding. As captives hit warp speed to make a final escape from their fate as the Space Cows’ farm-to-table selections, everyone gets the opportunity to take aim at the cattle cabal before slipping beyond the reach of the hungry herd. 

Overall

In its greatest moments, Cows In Space proves that silly and sophomoric humor is best served on a sophisticated platter. The Space Cows’ operation comfortably grazes in two pastures: sincerity and absurdity. The ridiculous premise is treated with the same seriousness as an intergalactic crisis while simultaneously inviting human captives to laugh along with every terrible pun, goofy reveal, and delightfully dumb twist along the way. The 75-minute experience never loses momentum, and everyone will roll their eyes at least once.

Cows In Space is an original game, though humanity’s troubles with the dairy-driven overlords are apparently far from over. Those still hungry for more intergalactic culinary chaos can continue the adventure in Cows In Space 2: Time Warp, which can also be found at the same location. 