RATING: 6 Keys
Attention Omega Mart shoppers! Today only, there’s a sale on portals into fantastical, otherworldly dimensions! Which don’t exist.
In 1969 Walter Dram won the failing convenience store Alpha Mart in a poker game at the Down on Yer Luck Casino in Las Vegas. Seeing an opportunity, he changed the name to Omega Mart and the rest is history.
In 1970 Walter was exploring the desert around Las Vegas when he happened upon a sect of technology-adverse farmers called the Abundantites. The produce grown by these homestead farmers was the best Walter had ever tasted. He bonded with the group over shared connections to the Great Depression and he decided to sell their wares in Omega Mart. He married an Abundantite named Hester in late 1970. She became the face of the new line of produce — Plenty Valley.
The Plenty Valley line was a massive success and Omega Mart quickly expanded nationally. Walter formed parent company, Dramcorp, in 1977 and expanded its reach into hundreds of products across the globe.
Over the decades, Walter Dram has led Omega Mart and Dramcorp to greatness. In 2021 the largest Omega Mart opened right near the strip in Las Vegas, Nevada, just before shocking the world with his decision to retire. Today, his daughter Cecelia Dram and his protégé, Kaz Matsumura are co-leading Dramcorp to new horizons with initiatives in brand development, automation, wellness, and Leadership Ascension.
The above Official™ Omega Mart™ Story™ has been generously provided to us by Dramcorp™, and shall henceforth and into perpetuity be accepted as the only true™ narrative we are legally allowed to share about the background of Omega Mart™.
Escape Authority™ shall not be discussing conspiracy theories insinuating immoral or nefarious goings-on behind the scenes at Dramcorp™.
Escape Authority™ shall not be disclosing the hypothetical existence of The Monolith. This resistance does not exist, and if it did, it would assuredly have no evidence to implicate Dramcorp™ in any theoretical wrong-doings.
Escape Authority™ agrees that Additive S™ is both safe and beneficial. Furthermore, you agree that you want Additive S™ to continue to be added to all products meant for consumption or household use.
By reading this Story section, you hereby and henceforth waive any and all legal right to doubt Dramcorp™ and its subsidiaries. You further agree to neither support and/or join in any of protests organized by The Monolith (which Escape Authority™ shall continue to neither confirm nor deny the existence of.) You also acknowledge and agree that there is nothing strange or questionable about Omega Mart™ or any of the products sold there-in. No product sold by Omega Mart™ or produced by Dramcorp™ contains any glitch which could alter reality. Finally, you agree that Omega Mart™ is simply a grocery store – a normal, regular, every day grocery store – and contains absolutely no portals capable of transporting shoppers into fantastical, otherworldly dimensions.
Our lawyers have advised us that, with the above clearly disclosed, we may now proceed into this review – but first, a message from our sponsors:
Promotional consideration for today’s Story section has been provided by Tattoo Chicken™, Cage Free, Judgement Free.
With the litigious overseers at Dramcorp™ temporarily appeased, we will, at great risk for you, our readers, disclose a bit more of their inner-workings than we have been expressly authorized to share. Omega Mart serves as the setting for one of several destination locations from Meow Wolf – an outlandish collective of immersive and interactive art installations. Each Meow Wolf location has its own unique over-arcing storyworld theme that loosely ties it all together, but, as you’ve probably already gathered, the abstract absurdity of it connects deeply to the core of what makes each one so special.
In Las Vegas, Meow Wolf is framed as Omega Mart – a mysterious super market with nothing to hide, as long as you don’t ask any more questions. It’s your one stop shop for nothing you need, and everything you can’t live without. Scenically, the attraction is split into four distinctly fantastical worlds.
True to its branding, shoppers begin their experience in Omega Mart, but this is far from just a simple show set used as a photo backdrop. Meow Wolf not only built *an entire grocery store*, but they stocked every shelf in its many aisles full of the most ridiculously hilarious fictious products. Everything is in stock, from “Tattoo Chicken” to “Oh, Those.” – the original junk food cereal and “Plausible Deniability” laundry detergent. Don’t worry – they also still have plenty of “Emergency Clams” in their available inventory. There are literally hundreds of real-scale spoofed products, and the wild thing is almost everything you see on the shelves in Omega Mart is actually for sale. (We may have brought home a bottle of Plausible Deniability. That really can come in handy for a review site!) This zone is also home to a not-so-hidden fully-functioning speakeasy dubbed DATAMOSH Bar, just beyond the Pharma to Table in-store pharmacy facade.
The Factory is a behind the scenes industrial zone clearly not meant for the eyes of Omega Mart’s loyal customers. It’s here that products are boxed and prepared for shipping to Omega Mart locations across the corporate chain. This zone is dominated by a pair of multi-floor twisting slides spanning from nearly ceiling to floor. They are not, however, for normal human use; They exist to assist in the canning of Plenty Valley produce into industrial barrels. Apples deserve a little fun too, after all.
Seven Monolith Village is an area that Dramcorp undoubtably prefers we leave off our list. Unfortunately for them, this home base for the Resistance without question contains the most jaw-dropping examples of fantastical features to be found anywhere within the venue. Mutli-story rock canyon walls surround the space, activated by vibrant, dramatic image mapped projections covering every nook and cranny. Through the center of the space, a crack in the ground flows with a glowing river of The Source – a valuable resource being mined by Dramcorp to pipe into their wide array of unnatural products. Seven Monolith Village is also home to Omega Mart’s most surprising hidden passage, the Climbing Rope Portal, leading to a harrowing rock wall climb through a steep, narrow crevasse that spans all the way up to the attraction’s second level.
The final zone invites shoppers for a private tour of the Dramcorp Headquarters. Beginning in its reception area (which is unsurprisingly robot-staffed) Dramcorp is ready to prove it has nothing to hide, granting full access to its proprietary R&D wing as well as inviting its visitors to roam freely through each of the closed-door offices. If you think the products which made the sales shelves downstairs in Omega Mart are strange, well, you have no idea the likes of which have been rejected. Of course, an adjacent Employee Micro-Breakroom is also available, thoughtfully furnished with all of the human comforts one might expect from a big corporation such as, umm, lockers, and, well there’s an HR training video playing on loop to help you feel like one big work family. Let’s move on – but first, a message from our sponsors:
Promotional consideration for today’s Scenic section has been provided by Caribbean Fiesta Font™, It’s Yes.
Omega Mart is whatever you need it to be. If what you seek is a stunning collection of modern art, you’ll find it here. If you want an energized sense of exploration made real by secret passages to explore, crawl through and climb, you’ll find it here. If you’re craving to uncover a mysterious narrative and learn its hidden secrets, you’ll find it here. And after all, isn’t that exactly what makes for a good grocery store? Omega Mart truly stocks everything you need.
Filling out your shopping list with a planned itinerary is never going to work at a place like Omega Mart. Go in with all the preconceived notions you want, but the truth is there’s just no way to anticipate how you will personally react to that unimaginable first impression.
The simple truth is that for each shopper, the experience is going to be different. Omega Mart is going to give you what you need from it, whether you realize it beforehand or not. Give yourself permission to let loose and just go with the flow. Be flexible, ready to explore, discover and get surprised. Follow the path – both literally and figuratively – that unfolds before you in the moment and soak it in however feels best. There’s simply no right or wrong way to experience Meow Wolf.
There’s so much more to share – but first, a message from our sponsors:
Promotional consideration for today’s Interactivity section has been provided by One A Year Vitamin™, See You At The Swallowing!
Although Omega Mart does have a lightly puzzling aspect, it’s best to preface before even discussing it that, at its core, this is not what Meow Wolf is about. Omega Mart is experiential, though it does have many hidden secrets which can be accessed and discovered, all tied together by the broader metaphysical puzzle of the actual intentions behind the shadowy Dramcorp organization.
Would-be employees can, for a very small fee, purchase a “Boop Card” which can be used to scan RFID touch points throughout the worlds to uncover little bits of the hidden secrets about Walter Dram, his family, Dramcorp and even The Monolith Resistance. These mysteries can unfold in the form of redacted written articles, confidential video files and, yes, at times even interactive digital puzzles.
Those with a hunger to further learn these secrets may also seek out The Gamemaster hiding somewhere within Omega Mart to be sent on additional scavenger hunt-esque challenges. For the most inquisitive of shoppers, the premium Omega Quest packs in even more to explore and solve – but first, a message from our sponsors:
Promotional consideration for today’s Puzzles section has been provided by Shrubs™, “A Proprietary Vegetable Blend “Kids Love”.”
If all of this sounds strange, well, that’s because it is. And here’s the thing – the randomness of it all is truly Omega Mart’s greatest strength. The best examples of true immersive entertainment are the ones that allow their audience to escape into a fantastical world the likes of which they could never experience at home. Simply put, there’s no brand out there more poised to make the fantastical become real better than Meow Wolf.
Omega Mart is equal parts strange, surreal, ethereal and inspiring. It’s the purest form of escape, like leaving reality behind for an adventure through a place somewhere between dream and imagination.
Pulling back the curtain of our personal visit, I was confident walking in, as someone who is equal parts a ‘story guy‘ and ‘escape game fan‘ that I’d instantly gravitate towards hunting for clues to expose the over-arcing narrative mysteries behind Dramcorp, and that’s exactly where I began. For me, that focus lasted about three minutes, and I found myself completely overwhelmed by inquisitive child-like wonder to just explore this sort-of adult playground. Each time I moved toward uncovering a story secret or a puzzle-driven interactive, my brain said “yeah but you’ve got to go find the next secret passage! Crawl through there! Climb that thing! Go! Go! Go!” It was an energized sensory-overload the likes of which I haven’t felt in a very, very long time. It’s not how I would have ever imagined my first Meow Wolf visit would play out, but in hindsight it was exactly the right introductory experience that I needed. For the few hours I was inside Omega Mart, I was a kid again.
Like any visit to the grocery store, I went in for one thing and came out with so many others that weren’t even on my shopping list. Things I never realized were missing from my life, that I now know I couldn’t have continued without. Omega Mart truly stocks everything you need, and you have no idea what’s in-store.
You can find an extended photo gallery from visit to Omega Mart in this exclusive album on the Escape Authority Facebook page – but first, a message from our sponsors:
Promotional consideration for today’s Overall section has been provided by Power Wings™ MultiPurpose Formula™, “The Easy Solution To Over 36 Problems, And For Chicken Wings!”
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Venue: Meow Wolf
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
Dates: Open every day
Hours: 10am – 11pm
Duration: You may explore for as long as you’d like, but note there is no re-entry.
Cost: $43 – $57 per person. VIP and Anytime Admission costs extra. Prices vary depending on the date selected. Nevada residents receive a $10 discount on one-time access tickets.
But first: a message from our sponsors:
Promotional consideration for today’s Venue Details section has been provided by Becky Glaze™ Chip Moisturizer™, Guaranteed Flavor since 1989 – “Now available in Mango Apathy.”
We thank Meow Wolf for inviting us to experience this attraction. Although complimentary admission was generously provided, that in no way impacts the opinion included within this review. And finally, a message from our sponsors:
Promotional consideration for today’s Disclaimer section has been provided by Nebula Loaf™, WHAT IN THE UNIVERSE WAS THAT?!
