He sees you when you’re sneaking… your bones are his to break… with no concern for bad or good… Christmas this year’s a big mistake!

Though posted within our Reviews section, this entry will not include a Key Rating. As a team, we at Escape Authority feel the correct thing to do is disclose that I was the Designer of this attraction on behalf of Chris + Creative. While I am excited to share its final results with you, our readers, I cannot officially endorse it in order to remain neutral to other games we have and will continue to review around the world.

Each Halloween, I produce an elaborate haunted attraction at my home for the local community to enjoy, free of charge. I call it “Peachstone Scream!“ For me, there’s only one rule: Each year must be bigger than the last.

In 2023, the story began unfolding almost daily across social media in mid-August with teases that an announcement would soon be made about the fate of our annual Halloween show. On September 8, that announcement was made – though it wasn’t quite the one the community was hoping for:

Making a rare out-of-character appearance as the Creator of Peachstone Scream!, it was squarely on my shoulders to share the bad news: we will NOT be doing a Halloween show this year. As you can probably imagine with a long-running neighborhood tradition, this sparked quite a bit of engagement online. The community was openly disappointed, and hopeful to change my mind.

You’d like to think that people would appreciate all the hard work I’d given them over the prior eight years. You’d like to think they’d respect my decision. It’s ok to be disappointed, but, let’s be honest, Peachstone Scream! isn’t just owed to anyone. And for the most part, although sad, the community was supportive. For the most part.

A new page emerged on the private community Facebook group, claiming to be affiliated with my event. At first I ignored them; it seemed obvious this page was being run by someone who is just a fan of what I’ve Created over the years, and, perhaps, was letting their enthusiasm take things a bit too far. But in less than a week, things escalated far more than what any reasonable person would call “a bit.”

This page, identified only as “THE BOSS” was using the community Facebook group to openly attack people, seemingly at random. Every message they posted was a barrage of endless capital letters and exclamation points. Through it, “THE BOSS” made it clear that, in their opinion, I was no longer in control of Peachstone Scream!. I let everyone down, so they claimed, and now “THE BOSS” is in charge.

Shortly after, the Peachstone Scream! Facebook page – my page – was hacked. The password was changed, and the posts were suddenly all supportive of “THE BOSS.” I don’t know if sympathetic to his cause is the right term here? They were more… subservient. At least they didn’t write in all caps. In fact, they never used a single capital letter at all, and ended every line with a string of emojis that fit their mood.

Whoever these subornments were, they made it clear that “THE BOSS” would be making his own announcement on September 15th. Here’s the problem – he waited until I was on a plane, roughly halfway across the country, in mid flight to California to to do it:

Suddenly it became clear. Whoever this psycho stalker was, he’s now posing as Santa Claus – in fact they even changed their Facebook page URL to read “/ClausEnterprises.” But obviously he couldn’t be the real Santa Claus, right? Either way, he’d taken this way too far. He’s not part of my show, and he’s not going to make decisions for me. This is REALLY not the kind of stuff I want to be dealing with on the first day of my vacation, but here we are. It obviously needed to be addressed – so, I filmed a video response the moment I walked into Disneyland later that morning:

That should be it, right? Except of course it wasn’t. “THE BOSS” – Santa – whoever the hell this psycho is – had the audacity to respond to that video laughing at me. He made it clear that this is no longer up to me, because *he* is “THE BOSS.” Look – I don’t know what world he lives in; he can call himself “THE BOSS” all he wants, but *I* am the Creator!

And then a third page popped up, labeled simply as “Her.” It became immediately apparent that “she” had some sort of long-standing vendetta against Santa Claus, and, you guessed it – now “she” is promising to make “her” own announcement one week later.

Sure enough, on September 23, the first day of fall, that announcement happened. The irony is we’ve had a long-running tradition from the start that we’d announce each year’s new show on “the day summer is canceled.” Against my better judgement, I clicked on this video – still on my vacation. Suddenly everything made a lot more sense:

Wait – so if the “Her” page (that URL then changed as well) was really Miss Bunny, does that mean “THE BOSS” is … actually… Santa Claus? So much for a peaceful vacation. And this sequence of events got much more than my attention; it was going viral across the community Facebook group; some neighbors were actually asking if they should call the police, citing that it “feels like someone is actually in danger.”

But even more compelling – other neighbors actually took this as inspiration to join in the story, creating their own character pages completely unprompted to interact with Santa, his enslaved elves now running the Peachstone Scream! page and Miss Bunny. Among several very notable “fan fiction” contributions, one neighbor created a page for the Elves Union Local 42, and even attempted to arrange a protest outside of Peachstone Scream! – aka my home.

This was every tiny bit the viral engagement I had hoped it could be – and through it, brought Christmas is Canceled: Santa’s Gone Psycho to a whole other level. Multiple times over the month and a half to follow, the planned story actually had to pivot in a sort of improv game to adapt to the completely unexpected things these fan fiction pages were throwing at us. It was already the most rewarding community event we ever produced, and it was still weeks away from even opening!

For those who somehow don’t recall – Peachstone Scream!’s resident villain, Miss Bunny, has held an almost life-long grudge against Santa Claus. Many years ago, back when she was just an innocent little girl named Sarah, she asked Santa to bring her a Little Miss Bunny doll for Christmas. Unfortunately, Christmas morning came, Sarah didn’t get her Little Miss Bunny doll; she got a toothbrush, one sock and some yarn. (I mean, playing devil’s advocate, I guess she could have at least used the yarn to knit the other sock?)

It was in that moment that Little Sarah vowed that as soon as she grows up, all she’ll want for Christmas is REVENGE. Well, sure enough, Little Sarah did grow up, and she turned into a psychopath. That’s when she put on a mask for the very first time to embrace her alter ego, Miss Bunny.

Every year forward, Miss Bunny tried to get her revenge on Santa Claus, but with each attempt, she failed. There were some pretty outlandish plans too – including traveling back in time, causing a butterfly effect and changing “her” own future forever – but even then, “she” failed. But one day, something funny happened.

As it turns out, in this day and age, it matters much less that what you say is the truth. To the contrary, if you repeat the same lies over and over again, a large percentage of the population is simple-minded enough to just… believe it. Miss Bunny may not have realized it at first, but through her failures, she hurt Santa far worse than any weapon ever could.

Santa’s reputation was destroyed. All of the good he’d done for centuries – ruined. And with children around the world afraid of him, Santa had nothing left to live for, except… well… you know… REVENGE! (Yup, that’s right; there is a lot of revenge in this story.)

So that’s where we’re at. Santa’s gone psycho. He’s enslaved the elves and works them to the bone without any breaks. He’s deemed every kid naughty and taken it upon himself to decide that’s now a crime punishable by death. Somebody’s got to stop him soon, because if they don’t, him every girl and boy around the globe is going to get a terrible surprise this Christmas: MURDERED!

I suppose that’s the long way of saying: Miss Bunny was right. And now, despite the countless times “she” has tried to kill us through the years, if we don’t work together, things are going to get even worse!

All the good girls and boys who gathered to help Miss Bunny meet “her” outside the old Christmas Tree Lot at the end of Peachstone Lane. In an effort to turn over a new leaf, Miss Bunny hands one of them a gift – the first she’s ever given in her miserable life. It even has their name on the tag. It’s chained and padlocked, but I suppose it’s still the thought that counts. When asked by her new friends, “she” simply says they’ll know when to open it, and they’ll know how to use it.

None of the other houses on Peachstone Lane have a single Christmas light up – a feat Miss Bunny credits to herself – and while sure, that could be true, it also might have something to do with this mission taking place in October. Now, normally that would be something Miss Bunny would celebrate – but it does put a bit of a wrench in “her” plans. Everyone knows the only way to get to the North Pole is through a magical portal Santa opens into your fireplace – and there’s just no way he’s going to open that portal in a home that doesn’t even believe enough in the spirit of the season to decorate. But – there is that one neighbor – the crazy one who lives at the end of the trail in the woods. He didn’t seem to get the memo, and his house is tarted up like a glowing Christmas whore. That could be a good place to start.

The (formerly) good girls and boys are left no choice but to find a way to break into the neighbor’s house. Once inside, the search is on through mountains of presents left under the tree for something – anything – that might open the magical fireplace portal. It would seem the crazy old neighbor asked for a lot of oversized Lego blocks this year – and that proves just festive enough to set the bait.

In a cloud of glowing green smoke, the magical portal to the North Pole opens…

Only the bravest one will need to crawl through first, to make sure the coast is clear in Santa’s Workshop. Everything should be fine; Miss Bunny put a lot of thought into this plan, after all! Seconds of waiting for the all clear feels like hours – and then, the screaming begins.

Santa was expecting that insolent little imp all along, and set the trap. Now, this misbehaving big kid is chained to a chair, waiting as bait for the other naughty girls and boys to follow them through the portal.

With Santa off to finish plans for his merry massacre, the other kids are left to frantically search his workshop for a key that might unlock their Christmas captive.

Desperate for help, a familiar old friend arrives just in the nick of time – Cold Uncle Monty! (Perhaps it sounded like he said his name was “Old Uncle Monty” for years – but he just had allergies.) And yup – that’s right – turns out he’s been a cute little penguin all along! Naturally, Cold Uncle Monty has just the thing to rescue their friend – it’s an old penguin family recipe in fact – ice cubes! And would you believe it? One of them even has a key frozen inside!

While the kids slowly melt the ice cube with their mitten-less hands, Cold Uncle Monty catches them up to speed on just what happened to turn Santa into a psychopath, and warns that children aren’t allowed at the north pole. If they’re caught, Santa will surely break every bone in their bodies and leave them for dead. Luckily, Cold Uncle Monty has a plan, as usual! The cabinet behind the workshop desk is full of elf uniforms – and as long as they’re disguised, Santa won’t kill them. He’ll just work them to death instead.

Santa repeatedly returns, interrupting the elfish imposters’ attempts at problem-solving their way out of the workshop – and each time he does, they must drop everything and pretend to be working their hardest with tiny-sized tools. After all, the toys aren’t going to make themselves. Successfully completing The Boss’ tasks rewards them with back-handed gifts he pulls from his magical sack of presents – a toy that’s already broken, or a Lite-Brite, batteries not included.

As unfair as his treatment of the honorary elves is, it does give Cold Uncle Monty an idea. Someone just needs to get their hands in Santa’s sack       of presents. Surely one of those toys must be what they need to escape! But how do you distract a belligerent narcissist hell-bent on his own empowerment?  Wait a sec – that’s it!

Cold Uncle Monty passes out paper and crayons to the kids, instructing each of them to draw their best, most realistic picture of Santa Claus, “exactly as you most recently remember him!” Whoever draws the best will be tasked to distract Santa, by proudly presenting their hard work. And the kid who draws the worst? Yup – you guessed it! Hand in his sack              of presents!

The plan actually works. and with the jolly fat menace indulging in his own likeness, the kids are able to use the new toys they’ve collected to break free from the workshop and into the North Pole, where they find a package was recently delivered. It’s addressed to the kids! Miss Bunny mailed them the batteries needed for the Lite-Brite. Unfortunately it seems some of the pegs are permanently burned out, leaving an ominous message: KILL. Wait a minute! The present Miss Bunny gave at the start – she said the kids would know when to open it!

In the gift, the kids find two viles of poison – one red and one green – an accompanying instruction manual and a hand written note: “IT’S TIME TO MURDER SANTA CLAUS.”

But Santa’s realm is a most secure location, and upon mention of that very word, his Nutcracker General intercedes. Though at first the officer feigns wanting to stop them, once he verifies the coast is clear, he admits that if they’re really here to murder Santa Claus, he wants in. He grants the kids safe passage into the Forbidden Elf Forest (because everyone knows Elves bake cookies in their trees) – and after trading them a sparkling seasonal trinket, they grant a fresh baked one to poison.

That poison, however, must be applied in a very specific pattern in order to successfully terminate a magical creature. Luckily that instruction manual sent by Miss Bunny is quite informative. So with the cookie freshly poisoned, all that’s left is to leave it on the fireplace and pretend to sleep until Santa finally gets what’s coming to him.

Sure enough, the merry monster arrives, and greedily eats the cookie while brazenly gloating to the good girls and boys that nothing can stop him now! “Nothing! Do you hear me! Nothing…. except… Poison?”

Santa falls to his knees, the poison quickly coursing through his system. “You… poi…poisoned Santa Claus? When I … specifically…. asked you……. not to?” With one shaking last gasp, Santa tries with all his might to deliver a final “Merry Christm…” But he’s gone.

Santa Claus is dead.

But this Holiday of Horrors isn’t quite over yet; before eating the poison cookie, Santa sealed the door of the neighbor’s house with impenetrable magic. There’s no way out. The only hope now is to ask for help from… the elves.

Those little folk aren’t exactly a trusting bunch after year’s of The Boss’ abuse – but if anything might get them on your side, it’s this. Cold Uncle Monty arranges a meeting with their representative to verify Santa’s status, and moments later, after hearing several small, high pitched gasps behind the door, the Elf Coroner arrives to make his official proclamation:

Cold Uncle Monty can’t resist joining the festivities, and leads the good girls and boys, as well as all the surviving elves through a celebratory musical number of “Ding Dong the Bitch is Dead!”

Nothing says “Merry Christmas” more than that.

Show your support for Escape Authority and get social with us:

In an Escape Authority review’s first “post credits scene,” it’s perhaps worth noting that as a portal to free the group opens in the Elf Forest, one final locked present is found. Here’s the thing, it was a surprise to me. The tag had my name on it.

It’s strange enough getting a gift after the show – most groups don’t appreciate any of the hard work I put into producing this event year after year. Hell, most groups don’t even say thank you. But this group handed me a gift, and said happy birthday? My birthday is in January…

You’ll never guess what opened the lock. Stay tuned.

Creator:  Chris +

Number of Games: 25

GAME SPECIFIC INFORMATION:

Duration: 60 minutes

Designed Capacity: Can be scaled to suit each installation; recommended 2-8 people

More Photos: ► click here ◄

Chris + exclusively owns the intellectual property rights to the Christmas is Canceled: Santa’s Gone Psycho attraction.

To inquire about its availability for your venue, email Chris@Chris.plus.